As honest as we’d like to be with ourselves and our kids, it’s never easy hearing that your child isn’t fitting in at school. As we know, kids yearning to fit in at school is instinctual. Fitting in at school gives them a sense of safety, security and can give them the confidence they need to get them through the day.

Not fitting in isn’t unusual, it’s normal for kids to be left out, especially if they’re unfamiliar with their classmates, the school and the routine. Fitting in can take time and bit of work, especially for those kids who are more on the shy side. Not fitting in can be in many forms, from being bullied to being excluded or just not being able to create any friendships.

We have some tips to hopefully provide you and your little one the building blocks to becoming more confident and fitting in at school.

1. Listen to your child - start the conversation

It might feel like an obvious thing to say but sometimes we can hear what our child is telling us without actually listening to them. As busy parents, it can be easy to overlook the subtle comments or subtle behaviours our child is displaying. If you feel something is off with your little one, don’t be afraid to ask them questions and get the conversation going. Be light-hearted and gentle with them as they may already feel embarrassed about the situation.

In saying this we don’t mean that your child must be the most well-known, well-loved kid on the playground, but we want to give them the confidence to get through their day-to-day. Anxious kids may sometimes miss out on opportunities to socialise or create meaningful connections. We as parents need to ensure we can always be in communication with them about how to handle social scenarios to give them the tools they need to become more social – almost like being with them and holding their hand, but from a distance.

Top conversation starters:

• Ensure they get into a habit of positive self-talk and that you’re able to teach them the importance of self-love
• Reassure them and let them know it’s okay to feel like this and you can work on it with them
• Let them know it’s OK to ask for others help if its needed
• Finding 1 friend at a time is the easiest way to start

2. Check in at school

If nothing has changed after a while, speak to their teachers and see what they may have observed and potential reasons why your little one may be struggling to fit in. It could potentially be a bigger issue that what we or our kids see.

3. Give them the knowledge on how to handle bullying

If your child is experiencing any form of bullying, it can be hard to come to terms with it but as parents, we have the tools to teach them how to handle conflict. Informing them on WHY another child might be a bully is the best place to start.

4. Teach confidence, empathy and kindness

Teaching empathy, kindness and overall confidence won’t be an over night process. Learning these things take time so teaching them should as well. These qualities do however, benefit you and your child so take the necessary steps to implement them in their day-to-day life so that they can then take it with them into the school yard.

We hope this has assisted you and child to feel more confident and get through the school year to the best of their ability.